Jose Mourinho insisted he was just dishing out some friendly advice to Frank Lampard during Tottenham Hotspur’s Carabao Cup penalty shootout victory over Chelsea.

Spurs head coach Mourinho exchanged words with Lampard on the touchline in the first half, with his side trailing to a Timo Werner goal.

Mourinho, Lampard’s manager at Chelsea from 2004-07 and again in 2013-14, could be heard shouting “F——- hell Frank, when you’re losing 3-0 you’re not standing up here” in reference to their 3-3 draw with West Bromwich Albion.

Lampard gave as good as he got, but both men afterwards insisted the exchange was good natured and reiterated their respect for each other.

“With Frank, the most important thing is my feelings to him are more important than any words that we exchange,” said Mourinho. “He gave me everything he had as a player, so I never forget that. My feelings will always be what I owe him as a player, friend and professional.

“The only thing I said was an opinion of an old coach to a young, talented coach. Which was when the players need us is when they are losing. When they are winning, we don’t need to be the protagonist of the touchline. In the last match, when they were losing 3-0, I felt sorry for him because he was really sad and quiet in his chair. In terms of football, I have nothing to teach him.

“It was just an opinion. Stay on the touchline when your team is losing and stay calm when your team is winning.”

Lampard said: “We were having some fun on the line. He said what he did to me and I commented on the fact he spoke to the referee more than his own players. But I’ve got huge respect for Jose and that will never change.”

Mourinho was also involved in a bizarre second-half incident before his team leveled late on through Erik Lamela, when he ran after Eric Dier down the tunnel.

Dier had needed to go to the toilet and Mourinho explained: “He had to go and there was no other chance, so I just went to put some pressure on him to get him back on the pitch as quickly as possible.”

Dier added: “It’s a first for me, nothing I could do … when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. Some things you just can’t do anything about.”

Mourinho also paid tribute to Dier, who had also played in Sunday’s draw against Newcastle United, by saying: “It [need the toilet] is the consequence of something not human that he did. Which was to play two matches completely dehydrated, tired, no energy in the muscles. Of course he won’t play Thursday [in the Europa League] because that would definitely kill him. What I did was dangerous.

“He has to recover with the conditions we have in the training ground. Tomorrow the whole team will stay together in our facility. I thought about sleeping here in the dressing room and waiting for them, but it’s more comfortable to go to our lodge and rest there. We now have some players who were on the bench and a couple at home.”

Tottenham eventually won the tie on penalties, to progress to the quarter-finals, after Mason Mount missed the final spot-kick for Chelsea.

“The players were phenomenal, to play so, so well against Chelsea at full strength and make them look like an ordinary team,” said Mourinho. “[Japhet] Tanganga had not even played in a friendly, the first competitive games for Gedson [Fernandes] and[Sergio] Reguilón. They were absolutely phenomenal.

“It was about personality too. My five guys that went to the penalties, went ultra confident. They said they wanted to take them.”